Occur

A lightbulb sits loosely in the socket above my head,

flickering intermittently as violent realizations flood my mind.

Memories make sense as they bombard my psyche, one right after another. Little moments magnified and analyzed under new clarifying light.

Past tense wounds reopen

larger and bloodier,

tearing at my heart,

shredding it like tender meat

falling off the mending bone.

A realized nightmare before me

grips my throat and chokes me to tears, panicked and burning.

This understanding and fear

of the known pain befalls me.

My core is corroded by years

of mistreatment and abhorrent lies.

They attack me now, like stinging nettles

wrapped around my veins. Prickling again and again

with every minuscule movement.

Everything reminds me of you,

and the betrayal of your betrothed.

White hot pain veils my eyes as I sob and release my promised future.

Your oath of matrimony, vanished.

You never let me go but you never stayed either. So here I am, with a broken bulb, crying as it occurs to me you never loved me from the start.